"No," he agrees, "but there comes a point where you're hurting other people with it, such as that scene I saw during the flood. And at that point, it's no longer an excuse. What she did to you was wrong. What she did was stupid. Her past explains that, but it doesn't give her carte blanche to swing her own trauma around like a club and inflict it on others."

He sips his cooling tea.

"And I say that as someone who had to learn that lesson myself."